Surprise: By Cody

One day, I decided that I wanted to trick Wade. Before going to bed, I placed weights (the round cement filled disks that were part of Dyke’s weight set) in a line all along the mattress of his bed. I then covered the weights with his blanket and pillow. Later that evening when mom sent us to bed, I walked with Wade down into our room. As I entered the room, I ran towards my bed, and like a high jumper, I jumped into the air and then landed on my back. Wade saw what I had done and followed suit. He ran towards his bed, jumped high in the air, and also landed on his back. When he landed on the weights, he screamed out in pain. Immediately, he rolled off his bed, pulled the blanket off and saw the weights. He was so mad! He immediately ran over to me and attacked. As a boy, whenever Wade attacked, he was relentless. After I begged for mercy, he finally stopped attacking me. Wade then removed the weights from his bed, and climbed in. I had forgotten that there was also a weight under Wade’s pillow, so when he laid his head down, he hit his head one last time. Again, Wade was fuming and attacked me. Finally, he stopped beating me up, and we both went to sleep in a little pain.
The next night, Wade and I again walked into our room together. This time Wade ran towards his bed and jumped high in the air and landed on his back. Suspicious, I walked over to my bed, lifted up the covers, and found that my mattress was lined with weights. When Wade saw that his trick didn’t work, he warned me that he would get me back. On the next night when I climbed into bed, I noticed that my pillow was covered in peanut butter. Yuck!

The neighborhood bully gets his: By Cody

In our neighborhood, there was one kid with “Little Man Syndrome.” His name was Sean Smith. Anytime one of the younger kids in the neighborhood didn’t do what Sean wanted, he would punch them in the face. For example, on one occasion, Sean punched Brett Clark in the nose because Brett didn’t get off our trampoline when Sean asked him to. On another occasion, Sean gave Tim Doll a black eye because Tim didn’t want to play football in the Smith’s backyard.
Well, one summer night we were gathering together all the neighborhood kids to play night games. As usual, Sean was threatening any of the younger kids that didn’t want to play. At one point, Sean asked Wade if he was going to play, and Wade told him, “No.” Being a bully, Sean got upset with Wade, threatened him, and pushed him. To this, Wade responded by picking up a 2X4 off the lawn and swinging it at Sean. To the delight of all the younger neighborhood kids, we watched as Wade chased Sean down the sidewalk with a 2X4. That was the last time Sean ever threatened Wade. I thought of this experience the other night while watching Ralphie beat up the bully in the movie, “The Christmas Story.”

The Longest Day of my life: By Cody

While walking to elementary school one fall day, Josh suggested that he and I skip school. I thought it was a great idea because I didn’t like going to school anyway. We decided that the best place to skip school was the Lunsford’s orchard. With that thought, we walked to the apple orchard, climbed up a tree, and started eating the yummy apples. After about an hour of sitting in the tree, we heard someone in the orchard. Suddenly, we saw some Mexicans that worked in the orchard. We were so scared; we knew that if the Mexican workers saw us, they would either take us to Brother Lunsford or they would kidnap us. Frightened, we sat silently for what seemed to be an eternity. Finally, the workers left that part of the orchard, so Josh and I decided to get out of there.
Next, we decided to hang out in the field between the church and the Chappel’s house. After a while we got really hungry, so we decided to go to the school and get some lunch. I can’t believe we went to the lunch room, ate our lunch, and didn’t get caught. Then again, the teacher’s probably saw us, and were glad that we didn’t stay. Anyway, the day was so boring that we decided to sneak home to get some toys. We first went to Josh’s house. We peaked in the backdoor and made sure that Josh’s mom was not home. The coast was clear, so we snuck in the backdoor to get some toys out of Josh’s room. Just as we reached his room, we heard the front door of his house open, and we could hear the voices of Suzy Smith and mom. We quickly and quietly crawled under Josh’s bed and hid their while mom and Suzy had the longest conversation on the planet earth. Finally, the conversation ended. Mom went home, and Suzy went downstairs to do some sewing. Josh and I knew that we had to get out of there, so we snuck out the backdoor of the house and went down to the railroad tracks. While there, we hung out on Johnsons’ farm until we knew that school was over, and we could finally return home. We didn’t get caught, but the day was so long and boring that I never skipped school again.

My Big Race: By Cody

After my mission, I was running a lot. I was a faster runner than some people, but not nearly as fast as the professionals. While buying a new pair of running shoes, I heard about a Halloween race in American Fork. In the AF race, the runners run through the cemetery at dusk. The race sounded like fun, so I decided to sign up and run the race.

When the race started, I took off running. After the first minute or so, the lead pack (about 10 guys) pulled a head of everyone else. Between me and the lead pack was one guy, and then everyone else was behind me. After a few minutes, the lead pack got further and further a head. So, I kept my eyes on the guy in front of me. After about two and a half miles, the lead pack went up a hill, and then disappeared. As I approached the top of the hill, I noticed that a runner could only go right or left. The guy in front of me went right towards the cemetery entrance, so I followed him. In an effort to show my manliness, I decided to pass the guy in front of me. I felt good as I ran through the cemetery, but could not see the lead pack anywhere. As I came out of the cemetery, I ran through the running shoot. Surprised, I looked down at my watch. When I saw the time, I thought to myself, “No way, I can’t run 3.5 miles that fast.” Suddenly the guy that I had past in the cemetery came running threw the shoot, and then said, “Oh no, I took a wrong turn!” Now everything made since, he took a wrong turn and I followed him. I then realized that I was the first person to go threw the shoot, so I was the WINNER, or the accidental cheater. I looked behind me, and I realized that all those people behind me had followed me as I followed the guy who took the wrong turn. But, because I was the first one to cross the finish line, everyone would think that it was my fault. A little embarrassed, I decided to sneak over to my car and get out of their before the race officials had the chance to talk to me. As I got near my car, suddenly I saw the lead pack come around the corner headed for the finish line. I didn’t wait to see who the real winner was, but I am sure that the fast guys were a little surprised when they got to the finish line and saw that about 40 runners had finished a head of them. By the way, the race never did send me my first place ribbon!

Making Laura a Star b-ball Player: By Cody

I can’t take all the credit, but I will say that on two different occasions I helped elevate Laura’s basketball game, while she played for Provo High School.

On one occasion, I was supposed to pick Laura up from practice. I arrived a little early, so I stood at the side of the court, while she practiced. When I got her attention, I motioned to her to trip one of the other girls. Laura smiled, and then put out her foot – mimicking what I had done from the sideline. Just as she put her foot out, one of her team mates ran in front of Laura and tripped over her foot. Surprised, Laura bent down and helped her teammate back on her feet. Laura kept saying, “I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to trip you!”

On another occasion, Laura’s team was playing their big rival Timpview high school. Before the game, I told Laura that I wanted her to make a basket for me. Well, at one point in the game Laura was fouled. So, she got two shoots from the foul line. On the first shoot, she paused and then shouted at the top of her lungs, “This one is for Cody.” She then shot the ball and missed the basket entirely. After Laura missed the second free throw, her basketball coach turned around and glared at me.

Albertsons- By Wade.

The only things I knew about grandpa Roskelley was that he was old and grumpy, liked to play golf and every week or so would bring us an assortment of doughnuts and old fruit. He would walk in with a big cardboard box with some fruit and veggies and usually a box of old doughnuts. I never saw mom or dad ever eat any of the food and it would always sit on the one end of the table opposite from dads chair until the fruit finally turned. It was several years before Chad or Dyke finally told me that grandpa would hang out behind Albertsons supermarket and collect all the stuff they were throwing in the garbage; old fruit and veggies and the (way past day old) doughnuts. I remember being appalled at the thought of eating fruit from out of a garbage can and swore off eating any of it ever again... OK maybe not. We were poor and we never got doughnuts, like a closet alcoholic drinking toilet brew, I would wait for every one to be out of the kitchen and I would sneak one doughnut at a time so as to not be easily noticed. I would then eat the food in private. One day I was caught eating a dumpster doughnut long after it was common knowledge where they came from, my response "O' I thought mom had bought these ones." what a lie, I continued to eat the garbage fruit and dumpster doughnuts until grandpa was too old to climb in the dumpster anymore

Bath Time: By Cody

I don’t remember how old I was, but I do know that I was very young. I believe that it must have been Saturday night, because this story is about me taking a bath. After filling the tub up with a lot of water, I decided that I needed a cup to help me wash the shampoo out of my hair. I walked into the kitchen; got a chair, and then retrieved from the cupboard a large glass cup. I then climbed down off the chair and headed back to the bathroom. When I entered the bathroom, I put the glass cup into the water, and then decided that I was going to leap over the side of the tub into the water. I walked back to the door of the bathroom, and then I took off running. I jumped high into the air and knees first splashed into the tub. Problem – I had forgotten about the glass cup that I had already placed in the tub. When I landed, the weight of my body crushed the glass cup into the bottom of the tub. Suddenly, I felt sharp pain in both of my knees. Blood filled the water, and I started to cry. The last thing I can remember is Trina pulling me out of the tub with blood running down my legs. I still have scares in both of my knees from the incident. As I remember the details of this accident, I can’t believe I actually decided to run and jump into the bathtub. Not very bright!

My new Car: By Cody

While growing up, there was no such thing as a new car. Dad usually bought a used car, or simply purchased a wrecked car and fixed it up. Dad was a mechanic by profession, so this all makes perfect since. Well, when I got home from my mission, I needed a car for college and for my new job as the delivery boy at CTI Travel. So, I started watching the papers. One day I found an ad for a Honda Civic that only had 60,000 miles. The car was in great shape all except for a little damage on the front end, and it was located in Salt Lake City. Excited, dad and I called the seller and arranged to see the car. That same afternoon, I went with mom and dad to see the car. When I saw the car, I was really excited because it looked a lot better than the 1979 Buick Skylark that I drove in High School (You know the one that dad bought from the White family for $200. It had “just married” on the side and would shake anytime you went over 45 miles an hour). Anyway, the Civic was slightly damaged in the front end, but there was no major damage. So, I bought the car, and dad and I started driving it home, while mom returned home in the mini van. After about 10 minutes on the highway, I saw that the hood was shaking a little bit. So, I asked dad if I needed to worry about the hood popping up. To this he replied, “If the hood hasn’t popped up yet, it’s not going to.” About two minutes later, wham! The hood popped up and wrapped itself completely over my entire windshield. Suddenly, all the cars around me scattered to get away from me. I yelled, “Dad, the hood just popped up.” To this dad said, “Remain calm, son! Remain calm!” Yea right, I thought to myself. I am driving down the Highway going 65 miles an hour with a blind passenger, I can’t see out my windshield, and dad tells me to remain calm. Luckily, I did remain calm. I flipped on my signal, checked my mirrors and got off the highway as quickly as I could. Miraculously, I got off the highway without wrecking into anyone. When dad and I got to the shoulder of the road we stopped the car and tied the hood back down. I then drove the car home with a windshield that looked like a big spider web of cracked glass. Gratefully, we made it home. The car proved to be a good one, but I don’t think that I will ever buy a wrecked car and try and drive it home on the highway again. Crazy!

Dead Man’s shoes: By Cody

On Christmas day, just before my mission, I got a call from grandpa Roskelley. Generously, he wanted to give me a good pair of shoes for my mission. Now remember, grandpa lived through the depression and loved to get doughnuts out of Albertson’s garbage. The only gift that he had ever given me was a tie that was about 30 years old when he gave it to me, and had been initially bought from D.I. So, I was a little hesitant when he told me to come on over and pick out a good pair of missionary shoes. I tried to be kind by saying, “Oh grandpa, you are so kind, but really I will be fine!” Grandpa insisted that every missionary needs a good pair of shoes and asked me to come right over. Well, I drove over to his house. When I walked up the stairs of his home, I could see 10 to 15 pairs of old grandpa shoes lined up in front of the couch. I smiled and tried to look excited. As I sat on the couch, I saw one pair of shoes that looked like mailman shoes. They were black, shinny, and they had a thick rubber sole on the bottom. As I picked up the mailman shoes, I looked over at grandpa and said, “Thanks grandpa, these look great!” To this grandpa replied, “Well how do you know if those are the right ones, when you haven’t even tried the others on?” He then had me try on every pair of shoes. When I was done trying on the shoes, I again picked up the mailman shoes and said, “Thanks grandpa, these will be great!” When grandpa saw my selection, he smiled and said, “Those are a fine pair of shoes. You know, I’ll bet those shoes cost 75 dollars new. But, when someone dies over at the old-folks home, they sell their shoes for just 5 dollars.” I quickly looked down at my gently used pair of shoes and back at grandpa and said, “Wow, that sounds like a great deal – just 5 dollars!” I walked out of grandpa’s house the proud owner of a dead man’s shoes.

Ironically, I polished and cleaned up the shoes that grandpa gave me, and they ended up being the most durable shoes I wore on my mission. Some day, if I ever get to Heaven, I hope to meet and tell the original owner of the shoes that his shoes served me well – and grandpa only paid 5 dollars!

Who's that? By Wade

Who is that? Beth, TJ and Asher?

No!

It's Mom, Wade and Cody... Who knew?

Where are my shoes?: By Cody

While growing up, Trina and Heather did so much to keep the house clean. They were both hard workers, and tried to get the rest of us to clean up after ourselves. I remember that Heather tried for a long time to get me to pick up my shoes. In an effort to help me, Heather started hiding my shoes, and then she would not give them back unless I did a job. On one occasion, Heather had gone off to High School. I searched and searched for my shoes. I checked the regular places like the fire place, coat closet, and the bathroom cupboards, but I could not find them. Late for school, I finally told mom that I had left my shoes out and that Heather had hidden them. With this information, mom decided to call Heather at the High School. When Heather got on the phone she asked mom if she could speak with me. So, mom handed me the phone, and then Heather said, “Cody have you done a job?” I responded, “No.” Then Heather said, “Cody, I’m not going to tell you where your shoes are until you do a job. So, call back after you have done a job!” When I hung up the phone, I was in shock. I thought for sure that she would give in and tell me where my shoes were. When I told mom what Heather had said, she looked at me, shrugged her shoulders and said, “I guess you better do a job.” Disappointed, I vacuumed the living room and then had mom call the High School a second time. When Heather answered the phone, she again wanted to speak with me. She again said, “Cody did you do a job?” I then told her that I had vacuumed the living room. To this she responded, “Good, now stop leaving your shoes out!” She then proceeded to tell me where I could find my shoes.

Thanks to Heather, my wife never has to pick up my shoes. I learned my lesson well.

Disclaimer: I always felt a since of victory when I found my shoes and hence didn’t have to do a job to get them back. I remember on one occasion Heather saw that I had found my shoes and made me do a job anyway.

Toothbrush: By Cody

After my mission, one of my good friends and former mission companions – Mauro Properzi – lived with our family. One morning, I was in a big hurry to get off to one of my BYU classes. As I quickly brushed my teeth, Mauro walked into the bathroom to comb his hair. Suddenly, Mauro said, “I didn’t know that you have a red toothbrush, too.” When Mauro’s comment registered in my brain, I stopped brushing and pulled the toothbrush out of my mouth and said, “I don’t - sick!” Then with a disgusted look on his face, Mauro said, “What do you mean that you don’t?” To this question I replied, “Sorry man, here is your toothbrush.” Mauro took the toothbrush and said, “Thanks a lot Cody, are you sure you don’t want to keep it?”

The Haircut: By Cody

At the beginning of one summer, mom asked me to come inside and get a summer haircut. I obediently sat down and held still while she pulled out the clippers and started to give me a buzz. When she was all done, she told me to go and look in the mirror. When I saw that she had given me a buzz, I started to cry. I felt like I was the one kid in the world that didn’t need a buzz. Whenever I have super short hair, everyone asks me what happened to my head because my birthmark looks like a big scar. Well, I walked back into the kitchen crying. Mom asked me, “What’s the matter?” I responded by saying, “I hate buzzes, now everyone can see my birthmark.” Mom looked at me and said, “Oh, your hair will grow back, don’t worry about it.” Just then, Chad entered the room and asked me what was wrong. I explained to him how much I hated my buzz because of my birthmark. Wisely, Chad pulled me aside and said, “Cody, buzzes are cool. Everyone in the army has a buzz! Do you want to go play army men with me in the front yard?” Thanks to Chad’s convincing words, I stopped crying and went out to play army with him in the front yard. After a while, I told Chad that I had to go in the house because I needed to use the bathroom. Chad looked at me and said, “I thought you were an army man!” To this I replied that I was an army man. Then Chad said, “Army men don’t need bathrooms, they just go in the bushes. So, with that I walked behind the bushes in the front yard and went to the bathroom. I thought that it was so cool that army men didn’t need bathrooms.

Wally: By Cody

I was downstairs in my bedroom playing with Wally Day. As we played, Wally said, “Hey Cody, say ‘I shot the city sheriff’ as fast as you can 10 times.” I was young and innocent, so I did what he told me to do. About the fifth time I repeated the saying, Wally started to laugh out loud. The faster I tried to repeat the saying, the more it sounded like I was swearing. Suddenly, mom appeared at the doorway of the room and said, “Wally, go home and don’t come back!!!” Wally quickly stood up and left out the back door. At the time I didn’t understand why Wally had been sent home. Years later, I finally figured out why mom was upset.

Family Scripture Study - by Beth

I don’t know who said it, but I love the promise given that if you will study the Book of Mormon together as a family it will fortify your children against the temptations and fiery darts of the devil. I have a testimony of family scripture study even in its most basic and simple form.
As a teenager I HATED my parents and family. They seemed so stupid and I seemed so smart [and grouchy] (ah, my teenage righteous indignation!). But when my brother, Cody, returned from his mission he established morning family scripture study. And I HATED it! I had to get up fifteen minutes earlier each morning and I certainly didn’t show forth a cheery attitude about it.
But I cannot deny how it softened my heart, despite my internal protests. While I tried to never show it, I began to love and appreciate this time spent in discussing the gospel in a way that seemed communal rather than didactic. A spirit of love infused our family relationships and I know it came from daily family scripture study.
A few months after we had been having family scripture study another brother, Wade, came home from his mission and I remember him noting the difference in our family, as well. “It’s like,” he said, “You all love each other now.”
From time to time I think about how family scripture study was one of the few ways my hardened heart would allow the Spirit to strengthen me. I’m so thankful for a humble brother who tried unterminably, day after day, to influence my siblings and I for good through this activity despite my bad attitude.
The Book of Mormon is true and it holds real power for our families!

Yellow bike seat- by Wade

When I was about 8 years old I wanted to play so bad with my friends that I developed the bad habit of avoiding going to the bathroom for fear of missing what my friends were doing. Many times to the point where I would end up using a ditch for a restroom.

This was the early 80's when short shorts were what you wore.

Ryan Chappell Had just gotten a new bike with a bright yellow seat, and he had brought it over to our house. The Smith boys were over and everyone was taking turns riding the bike. The bike ended on the top of our back hill by a large Crab Apple tree. I wanted my turn so I jumped on the bike and started to ride down the hill. About Mid hill My bowels decided they had waited long enough to empty and so the peristalsis started and would not be stopped. I raise my legs up off the pedals to try to clench my but cheeks together but it was to no avail. The Bowel movement had smooched out of my pants onto the seat by the time I got to the bottom of the hill. Embarrassed I ran into the house. I heard my friends saying as I ran away "he was so scared, it scared the crap out of him." I can't remember which of my brothers or sisters cleaned off the seat for me but I was too dejected to go back out that day.

I have let the lie of "having the crap scared out of me" live until this day. I still feel bad about baptizing Ryan's bike seat in crap, But some of my best lessons have been learned by embarrassment. Lesson learned!

The Meanest Sisters in the World: By Cody

Thanks to year-round school at Westride Elementary, I was off track enjoying some cartoons, while my older siblings were getting ready for school. As I watched the cartoons, Trina and Heather attacked me. As Trina pulled on my feet dragging me across the carpet, Heather started pulling on my blanket. When the blanket came off, both girls giggled when they saw that all I had on was my underwear. With this new discovery, the girls decided to pull me out the front door. As my feet went out the front door, I grabbed the inside edges of the door. Trina kept pulling as Heather tried to pry my hands loose. There I was stretched out spread eagle on the porch in my underwear. In the middle of my struggle – and to my horror – my sixth grade teacher Mr. Jackman walked up to the door to drop a check off for mom (mom baby sat the Jackman kids for a couple of years). Mr. Jackman saw me, laughed, and then said, “I can’t wait to tell the rest of the class when school starts back up.” I was mortified. Heather and Trina let go of me, and I quickly ran into the house. Luckily, the next time I saw Mr. Jackman he just smiled and said, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell the class.” Way to embarrass me sisters!

Kentucky Fried Chicken: By Cody

I remember well the day that Trina brought home a big bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken from her work. She put the bucket on the table and told everyone that they could eat it until it was gone. I was very excited about the chicken because our family rarely had the money for such a special treat. I ate one piece of chicken and decided that it was so good that I needed to save some more for later. I then dipped my hand into the bucket of chicken and pulled out two more big pieces. I wrapped each piece of chicken in a napkin and then began to ponder. I thought to myself, “I better hide this chicken because if I put it in the refrigerator, someone else will eat it.” With that thought, I decided that the best place for the chicken was the bottom of my dresser drawer. So, I put the chicken in my dresser and there it sat for a couple of days. You see, I was saving the chicken for a special occasion. So on the third day, I was playing with Josh Smith. He was being nice, so I decided that it was time to share my prize. I opened my dresser drawer and then gave Josh one of the two pieces of chicken. Even though the chicken was room temperature, it still tasted great to me. As Josh and I enjoyed our chicken, we decided to walk outside. As we were walking through the front yard, mom saw us and asked what we were eating. I proudly told her that I had saved some of the chicken that Trina had brought home. With a perplexed look, mom said, “That chicken was gone days ago. Where did your chicken come from?” I then explained how I had saved my prize for a special time. Mom looked shocked and said, “You should not eat old chicken; particularly, old chicken that has not been refrigerated for several days. I really hope that you don’t get sick. If I were you, I wouldn’t take another bite. In fact, I would throw the rest of your chicken away.” Josh looked at me with a worried look, and we both walked over to the garbage area and threw our chicken away. Even though I was young, I felt really embarrassed, when Josh decided that he had better go home and tell his mom what happened. Luckily, I never did get sick, but I learned my lesson well. I am now quick to throw out any old chicken, and I never keep any in my dresser drawer.

Uncle Gary’s Fault: By Cody

I was walking in front of the Chamberlin’s house with Josh Smith. Josh stopped and picked up a little rock off of the side of the road and then said, “Watch this.” He then proceeded to throw the rock under a car as it went around the corner. I smiled and said, “Cool!” I then began to process in my mind how I could do something that would top Josh’s feat. I then picked up a stick that was about two feet long and one inch in diameter. I looked at Josh and said, “I’m going to skip this right under the next car.” Josh looked at me and said, “No way!”

We didn’t have to wait long before a car came around the corner. I threw the stick and it hovered threw the air, hit the road, and then hovered back up into the air and hit the car right in the door. The car slammed on its brakes. Josh ran towards his house, while I ran towards ours. I ran threw the front door, down the stairs, threw the laundry room, and out into the back yard. As I ran into the backyard, I could see that Uncle Gary was in the backyard visiting with some of my family members. I ran towards Uncle Gary because he was standing between the tower and a cherry tree. I was headed for the garden, so he was in my direct path. As I tried to go around Uncle Gary, he picked me up and said, “Where are you going in such a hurry?” Just then I heard mom call out the kitchen window, “Codyyyyyyyyyyyy, you get your little butt in here!” I knew that I was doomed and it was all Uncle Gary’s fault. Had he not picked me up, I would have made it into the garden and down to the railroad tracks. Uncle Gary put me down on the ground and said, “Sounds like your in trouble. I think you better go see your mom.”

Well, I did go and see mom. She took me in to her bedroom and gave me the hardest spanking of my life. All I remember was mom said, “Did you throw a stick at a car today?” I said, “Yes.” She then put me over her legs and said, “That man could have sewed us.” She then began to spank in sequence with each word that came out of her mouth. The sequence went something like this, “Don’t (spank) you (spank) ever (spank) ever (spank) do (spank) that (spank) again (spank).” She then sent me out of her room. I ran out the front door and then I saw Uncle Gary’s truck. When I saw that truck, I wanted to kick it. In my little mind the whole thing was Uncle Gary’s fault because he kept me from getting away. I then decided that I was going to hide in the camper (the one that sat on Dad’s truck) until Uncle Gary left.

Singed- By Heather

Dyke was trying to light the barbecue because the automatic start wasn't working. He came in the family room and asked Cody to come outside and help him. He told Cody to lean in under the lid of the barbecue and tell him when he was close with his match to the area where the gas comes into the bottom of the barbecue. Cody leaned in and helped. Seconds later Cody came into the house with his eyelashes, eyebrows and the front area of his hair all fried off and curly from the gas igniting and being so close inside the lid. I don't know if Dyke had done it on purpose but he was laughing his head off.

Easy Off- By Heather

Mom had left Chad to babysit (I don't remember him babysitting that often), Mom had also left some hamburger to cook up. I clearly remember telling him how good it tasted, in fact everyone told him it was delicious. When Mom came home she asked what the oven cleaner was doing out. Chad said that he had used it thinking it was pan spray and had coated the pan before throwing in the burger. Mom called poison control, I remember sitting and waiting for the wave of sickness to come over me but poison control just said to drink lots of water!

Change- Wade

When I was a senior in high school I got a girl friend who was a freshman at BYU, and she had a car. I would ride my Mtn bike to her house and make out until it was time for me to go home. Some times it would be so late she would give me a ride home in her crappy Peugeot car. One night after the previous series of events, at about 1:00 AM, I decided I was going to go get my Bike from her house. It was really very Innocent and I had no ulterior motives. I had my Yellow water proof Walkman on as I passed Dyke and Denise in her blue Grand Prix and started to run. I made it about half way to my destination when I heard foot steps behind me, I didn't have time to react because the really cool Walkman drowned out the sound of foot steps. I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder and I cowered away looking back to find Dyke standing there. He told me he knew where I was going and I shouldn't be going over to her house. I said "I am just going to get my bike, I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING BAD!"
Dyke yelling back at me said "YEAH BUT YOUR NOT DOING ANYTHING GOOD EITHER"
I can't remember anything that was said after, and I still ran to my girl friends house and got my bike. Dyke telling me in a sense that I was a piece of crap, a parasite on society, effected me greater that he knows. I consider this one of the turning points in my life, an epiphany that being a low life looser wasn't good enough. I didn't graduate high school and I had no direction in my life. I feel that had things not changed, that working my way up from dish washer at Ponderosa and hoping for a promotion to waiter would be the pinnacle of my success. Dyke made me realize that not trying would leave me where I currently was and no one was going to change it but me. It was shortly after this incident I went on a LDS mission which provided time away from my former life and an avenue for me to change.

Riding the Bus - by Tia

Whenever we got our meager paycheck from doing the paper route we'd pay tithing, put at least 10% in savings and then we could spend the rest (which was about $8). Our favorite thing to do was to go to the Mall and walk around. We would invite Melanie Walker, Becca Smith and Sarah Chamberlain to come with us. We always did the exact same things: buy a sucker at See's, ice cream cone at a burger joint and then ride the escalators and elevators throughout the Mall. There was a time when we'd have to spend time at Kaybee Toy Store so Beth could buy the New Kids on the Block trading cards that had bubble gum. We would wander around for what seemed like hours and we always ended up spending the rest of our money on the photo booth at Walgreen's and penny candy they had while we waited for our ride there. We'd try to beg for rides to and from the Mall, and usually we could get one. One time we weren't able to get a ride home so we decided we would take the bus. We went out and asked the bus driver which bus to get on and found one that sounded right. The first bus took us clear down to where the Provo Mall is now and I was so scared because to me, it felt like we were so far from home. The bus driver told us a bus number to get on that would take us back up north and so we took it. The second bus dropped us off at UVSC and we had to walk home because we had to do our paper route by a certain time and the next bus wasn't going to come in time - I think it took us 45 minutes to walk home.

Shopping at the Mall - by Tia

One afternoon when I was in 6th grade Dyke told me Laura and Beth to get in the car because he was taking us shopping. Well, if you've read any of the posts below, you'll know that we had learned to be pretty suspicious of Dyke's offerings. After he had convinced us that he wasn't lying we drove to the bank and he withdrew $180.00 and handed $60.00 to each of us. Then he drove us to the Mall - somewhere we NEVER shopped (the best we got was Pic N Save if we were going to buy something nice, the rest of the time we rode our bikes to DI or waited for hand-me-downs from neighbors). The three of us went to the mall often, but it was to spend our paper route money on See's suckers, ice cream cones and photo's in the booth at Walgreen's.

We didn't even know where to start. I remember Laura spent hers at The United Colors of Benetton and the cashier was totally hitting on Dyke and was asking us, "So, your brother is buying you these clothes? What a nice brother, can I talk to him?" I got a pair of black jeans and a striped polo style long sleeved shirt that I wore to school the very next day. For the first time ever, the cool girls complimented me on what I was wearing (perhaps because it was clean, matched and was new). I felt like I was leader of the pack and I remember thinking, "I wonder if it would be bad if I wore this again tomorrow."

Trina & the Bikini: By Cody

One day I was shooting baskets in the backyard. Trina was sunbathing on the trampoline in an aqua colored bikini. As Trina finished her sun bathing, she walked up to me and said, “Let me shoot a basket.” I gave her the ball, and then turned toward the basket. After the ball went up into the air, I heard Trina scream. I turned around to see Trina crouched down, holding her chest against her knees. I asked her what had happened and she replied, “Come here and tie that back of my bikini.” I then realized that the bikini had come untied when Trina tried to shoot a basket.

Trina's surprise: By Cody

One morning, I was in the laundry room getting some clothes out of the dryer. Suddenly the door of the laundry room swung open, and Trina jumped into the laundry room and screamed, “boo!” Startled, I quickly turned around to see Trina buck naked with a surprised look on her face. When Trina saw that it was me in the laundry room, she quickly jumped back into her room and closed the door. Later that morning, I found out that Trina had just got out of the shower, and she thought that Heather was in the laundry room and decided to scare her. Wasn’t she surprised to see me instead of Heather?

Dyke's gifts to the little girls: By Cody Roskelley

One year, I saw that there were a bunch of presents under the Christmas tree from Dyke to Laura, Beth, and Tia. I was surprised by this gesture because Dyke had never given any gifts to the little girls before. Well, on Christmas morning, mom handed Laura a present from Dyke. As Laura quickly opened the gift she said, “Wow a doll. I have a doll that looks just like this. Hey, this is my doll.” Dyke just sat on the couch laughing. The same scenario played out several times that Christmas morning as the little girls opened their own toys that Dyke had wrapped up and given them.

Christmas Present: By Cody

One year for Christmas, Grandma Gringo gave me and TJ Scouguard (spelling) each a florescent red sweater that was Playboy brand. I wore the sweater, while at the Christmas party, but took it off as soon as I got home. I thought that the sweater was ugly, and I was embarrassed that it was Playboy brand, so when I got home I put it into the bottom of my dresser drawer, and never wore it again. A year or so later, mom asked me if I had any clothes that I wanted to go to DI. I said yes, and gave her the red sweater. When mom saw that the sweater still had the purchasing tags on it, she got really upset and said, “I can’t believe you don’t wear this beautiful sweater.” I looked at her and said, “Mom, it is playboy brand, do you really think that I should wear a Playboy sweater to school?” When mom realized that the sweater was Playboy brand, she didn’t say another word, and put it into the DI bag.

Christmas Eve by: Cody

One Christmas Eve, Mom had asked all the kids to come into the family room so that we could all act out the story of Christ’s birth. While Mom was gathering the family, I decided to show off for those who were already in the family room. Trying to be funny, I lowered my pants a little and then pretended to be checking out the TV showing my plumbers crack. When mom walked into the family room and saw what I was doing she said, “Damn it Cody, do you always have to ruin spiritual moments?” I felt really bad after mom stormed out of the room.

What Smells: By Cody

I knew I was running late for school, so I quickly ate my breakfast, and ran out the front door. As I ran across the front lawn, I watched the school bus go past. Gratefully, the bus driver saw me running and waited for me. When I got to school, I went to my first class, which was physics. I liked physics because I sat next to a cute girl named Amber.

After the first couple minutes of class, I looked at Amber and said, “Man, something really stinks in this room.” Amber looked at me and replied, “Yea, I agree something really stinks badly!” The smell didn’t go away during the entire class, so I was excited to get out of the room.

For second period, I had art. I sat down in my art class, and noticed that something still stunk. Then it occurred to me that the smell seemed to be following me. I scooted my chair back and looked at the bottom of my shoes. “Dang it,” I muttered to myself. Sure enough, there was a bunch of fresh dog poop all over the bottom and side of my shoe. Some of the poop had even gotten on the bottom of my pants. I was so embarrassed that I quickly asked the art teacher if I could go to the bathroom. While cleaning my shoes and the bottom of my pants in the bathroom, I realized that I must have stepped in Radar’s dog poop while I ran across the lawn trying to catch the bus. I hate dog poop!

English Leather- By wade

When I was 15 my life revolved around Basketball. I was on my own financially and Bought all my own clothes, which was a fact of life. I saved my money one year and bought me the best pair of basketball shoes. The Flight 89's were my first good pair of Nike's ever.

One day while brushing my teeth I noticed a leather conditioner on the sink called English Leather It had a picture of a saddle on the container. I had seen my dad's leather conditioner and it was a solid goop in a can this was in a stick. I took the English leather and applied it to my new shoes. The leather was much softer after the application and they had a pleasant smell to them.

A few hours later Able and Adam Smith came over and I told them about how soft my shoes were and how nice they smelled. They said it was a good idea but snickered when I told them I had put English leather on them. I, not knowing what was in store, went and produced the stick of English Leather at which time Adam began to howl with laughter, gasping through the laughter he said "You put deodorant on your shoes?" followed by great heaving belly laughs.

I knew there was such a thing as deodorant but I was never taught or told what it did, where it went or that you were supposed to use it on a daily basis. I had seen cans of Right Guard but I thought it was only for Grown ups.

Cody was the one who took me aside and explained the whole hygiene thing to me.

Shower? -By Wade

My first grade teacher was Mrs Meservy, I don't know how I got the mean old lady instead of, the pretty and nice, Mrs Hampell, but I did. Not only did I get freaked out by my older siblings about the woman she seemed to have it out for me (probably because of my older siblings).

Saturday nights were the night we "got ready for Sunday" this was the one day of the week when we had to shower, it was mandatory. We would take turns sometimes or we would bathe together. I remember actually being taught my home address and phone number in the bath by my older sister. As for the rest of the week we could play in the dirt, cow pastures and irrigation ditch with out as much as a hand wash.

One day in first grade Mean Mrs meservy stood up in class and announced we were to have a hygiene lesson. She introduced the "crazy" idea that we should bathe more often than once a week. This was a foreign concept and figured she must be talking to some one else because I was at least as clean as Cody. Then she dropped the bomb shell, in her meanest voice and looking directly at me she said "you have to change your underwear every day because nobody wants to smell like pee." I was dumbfounded I couldn't think of one reason why you had to change your underwear more than once a week. My underwear barely had any streaks in them after a week and I certainly couldn't smell myself. It wasn't until years later about 3rd grade before I discovered the shower and all of it's benefits.

When I was 12 I decided that hygiene was important and would try to shower in the morning. The problem was that we had 6 other older sibling who also showered in 1 shower. the shower was sheet rock and had a cement drain, the paint on the walls was always peeling the paint on the ceiling was cracked like a dried up lake bed and paint delicately hung waiting for someone to brush it so it could fall to the drain. The wall next to the laundry room did not reach the ceiling there was never any real privacy. If you were too long in the shower or took too much warm water you regularly received a cold bucket of water from the laundry room into the shower and would receive more water until the shower was ended.

Cody and Wade fights- by Cody

You have to understand that Wade and I were born 14 months apart. This is both a blessing and a curse. Growing up, we were always best friends, but we were also very competitive. Wade has always been either my same size or bigger. As a result, we either played nicely together, or we would fight. Because we fought so frequently, we had agreed on the following rules:

No biting
No pulling hair
No punching in the face

With those established rules we did a lot of wrestling, punching in the stomach, and kicking. That is unless Wade was losing. As soon as I would start to win a fight, suddenly Wade would bite and pull hair. He never punched in the face, but it really made me mad, when he would break our pre-established rules. I remember saying in the middle of a fight, “Hey that is not fair, you are pulling my hair”. To this Wade would respond, “I don’t care”.

On one occasion, Wade and I were fighting downstairs in our room. Suddenly, we heard the heavy footsteps of dad coming down the stairs. Knowing that we would be in big trouble for fighting, we quickly started to untangle and get up off the floor. Dad walked into our room and said, “Are you boys fighting?” To this Wade and I both responded, “Oh no, we weren’t fighting, we were just wrestling.” Dad gave us a suspicious look and then said, “I better not catch you boys fighting, or you will both get a spanking.” Dad then walked out of the room, and Wade and I dismissed our argument and became best friends again.

On another occasion, Wade and I started to fight in the front yard. Dad was working in the garage. When Dad saw that we were fighting, he said, “You boys want to fight, well, I better help you cool off.” Then Dad grabbed the water hose in the front yard and started squirting both Wade and me in the face. All the water made it difficult to fight. I remember every time Wade and I would get close enough to do anything damage, Dad would again blast water in our faces. The water also made the grass slippery. At one point, I tried to kick Wade and slipped on the wet grass. I was really embarrassed when both Wade and Dad laughed after I slipped. Eventually, Wade and I both got tired of the water and stopped the fight.
On another occasion, Wade and I were walking home from school. As we walked through the field that separated the church from the next neighborhood, one of the neighbor kids asked which of us was the toughest. To this I responded, “I am.” Then Wade looked over at me and said, “No you’re not.” We then began pushing each other. The next thing that I can remember, Wade and I were rolling around in a muddy ditch in front of half the neighborhood boys. I don’t remember who won that fight; I just remember how it started, and being covered in mud. I still wonder how Wade and I explained to mom how our clothes got so muddy.

Keith Chadwick

One day after school Keith Chadwick and I carved sharp points onto long sticks to make spears. I don't remember what the arguement was about but I remember telling Keith that I was going to throw my spear at him. He dared me too do it and I did: Right between the eyes. keith was taken to the hospital where he had 8 stiches in the forehead. I got a whippin.

Race Car Fire

Dyke and I must have been 7 and 9 years old: We had gotten matching race cars for christmas except mine was blue and his was red. You pulled a chord that caused the weels to turn and then you let them race-after awhile of this I got bored and decided that jumping through a fire would be alot more fun. So we headed out behind the fence for our adventure. The only problem was that our little fire turned into a really big fire. By the time the fire dept got there about 2 acres had burnt. I got a whippin and had to go down to the fire dept. to talk to the fire chief who showed me the skin on his chest; which had been severly burnt in a fire many years previously and looked wavey like the frosting on a cake-he all but blamed it on "stupid little kids like you (me)"-scared the hell out of me.

Marlboro man- By Cody

One cold winter day, I was sitting in the family room watching the fire in the fireplace. As I sat there, I noticed the pile of extra news papers from Dyke and Chad’s paper route. I then thought to myself, “I wonder what it is like to smoke?” With that thought, I looked around to make sure that no one else was in the room. I then grabbed a rolled up newspaper, and stuck one end of the paper in the fire. Once I got a good flame, I blew it out, and then put my mouth over the other end of the newspaper. I took a deep breath, and suddenly my mouth felt like it was on fire. I started choking and coughing uncontrollably. My eyes were watering, and I seriously thought I was going to die. As I coughed, I heard mom call from the kitchen, “Cody is that you, are you alright?” I did not want mom to know what I had done, so I threw the burnt newspaper in the fire, and then ran into the kitchen to get a drink of water. Concerned, mom again asked me what had happened. I then told a big lie about how I had gotten smoke in my face. Ironically, I have never had the desire to smoke since that time. close to the fire and got some the burnt newspaper in the fire, and then ran into the kitchen to get a drink of water. Concerned, mom again asked me what had happened. I then told a big lie about how I had gotten smoke in my face. Ironically, I have never had the desire to smoke since that time. close to the fire and got some

Red Rider- By Cody

When I was about 10 years old, I was jumping on a bed in the room at the bottom of the stairs. Dyke came down the stairs with a red rider BB gun. I’m guessing that Dyke must have seen some kind of TV show about sharp shooters because he looked at me and said, “Cody hold still, I am going to shoot right above your head.” Surprised, I said, “No don’t!” Just then Dyke pulled the trigger and I felt something hit me in the forehead. I started screaming and crying. When I put my hand up to my forehead, I could feel something sticking out of my forehead. (What I didn’t know was, Dyke had unscrewed the interior portion of the barrel of the gun so that he could stuff a nail down the remaining outer barrel). I jumped off the bed and started running up the stairs. Suddenly, Dyke tried grabbing my feet and I could hear him saying, “Don’t tell mom, don’t tell mom.”

When I got to the top of the stairs, mom looked at me and screamed. She then asked Dyke what had happened. I don’t remember what he told her, but I do remember mom wrapping a cold-wet wash cloth around the nail and asking me to hold it against my forehead. As mom drove me to the hospital, I was crying very hard. Mom looked at me and said, “Do you really have to cry that loud?” I looked at her and said, “No”. From that point on, I didn’t cry again. When we got to the emergency room, they made me get all kinds of brain scans in order to determine if there was any major damage. (I’m sure that many close to me would argue that I suffered saver brain damage). But, after reviewing the brain scans, the doctor determined that it would be OK to pull the nail out of my forehead.

The doctor then explained to me how he was going to grab the nail with a pair of pliers, and then he would put a bandage over the spot where I had been shot. I asked the doctor if he was going to get blood on my new pajamas. The doctor assured me that blood would not get on my pajamas and then proceeded to pull the nail out. As the nail came out, blood squirted all over the doctors clothes, but none of the blood got on my pajamas. Before leaving the emergency room, the doctor gave me a large syringe and told me to go home and squirt my brothers and sisters with water. I was excited about the syringe, and happily returned home.

Fire- By Wade

I arrived in the Smiths back patio to find the Smith boys with a can of gasoline and a box of matches. They were pouring a ring of gasoline on the cement in a large circle, every one would get in the middle and they would light the ring on fire. This was done several times each time with the ring getting smaller. Finally in a small 2 foot ring that 1 person would stand in. It gave you a warm gush of hot air.

After most of the gasoline was used up we all gathered around the play house they had built in the back yard. Really it was a hole dug in the sand that they had nailed boards up into a 3 sided lean too. The last of the gasoline was poured on the structure and the Hut was set to Fire.

We then began to dare each other to go into the hut, which several of us did. we then made bets on who could stay in the house the longest. Bright huh! How none of us got burned that day is beyond me. I like to assume we all had a greater purpose in life than to die in a hut.

We want icecream- By Cody

One Summer day the three little girls came up to Dyke and asked him if he would take them to buy an ice-cream cone. Dyke replied that he would, and he told the girls to go get in the car, a 1977 Red mustang II. About 15 minutes later the girls came in and said, “Dyke are you really going to take us to get an ice-cream cone?” Dyke replied that he would and again told them to go get in the car. About 15 minutes later, one of the girls came in the house and the same scenario played out. Again, Dyke told the girls to go get in the car. Well, after this happened three or four times, the three little girls came marching into the house angry and said to Dyke, “ You aren’t really going to take us,” again Dyke replied, “Sure I will, go get in the car.” To this the girls replied, “no, you are not telling the truth”. Dyke just laughed as the girls marched down the hall to their room.

Family home evening- By Cody

One day while I was in college, mom asked all the kids at home to come in for a short Family Home Evening. Beth really didn’t want to join us because she had a lot of home work. Well, she did eventually come into the room, and mom asked her to pick a song. Suddenly Beth smiled and said, “I want to sing do as I’m doing”. Mom agreed, and Beth stood up to conduct the song. As we sang the first verse, Beth pretended like she was picking her nose. On the second verse, Beth wiggled her bum back and forth. As you can imagine, mom didn’t think that it was funny, when Tia and I followed Beth’s actions and laughed during the song.

Whats that smell?- By Wade

In chads room, the one facing the patio, Wally Day, Cody the Smith boys (Josh and Able) and I
were sitting on the carpet. The same carpet that was brown and wasn't quite cut to specification. The carpet curled up the wall on every edge, and in some parts had heating vent holes still intact from the last house it had been in. The brown carpet was laid on top of the old green carpet which was laid on top of the old tile floor.
We were all looking at the toll painted Cowboy and Indian that some one had painted onto 2 separate pieces of wood. We as kids decided we would have a contest to see who could pee on the cowboy and Indian face's. Setting the wooden painting against the wall, on top of the brown carpet, inside Chads room we began to pee... All of us... careful to follow the Ghost Buster rule not to cross the streams, we peed sometimes by our selves and sometimes 3 at a time.
Following the Law of Gravity the urine flowed down the Wood and into the carpet to be forever immortalized into a Pungent odor that lingered for months.

revealing boxer shorts

As a child I remember not having gloves or boots for winter play. However Mom had a solution: Multiple layers of mismatched socks on our hands and feet covered by a plastic bread sack and a rubber band to secure. They worked great for sledding down the hill but getting back up was difficult. We were not out long because the bags tore easily and we got wet and cold.

Some of our most exciting days were one's where we returned home from school to find a box of hand-me-downs sent from our, just older, cousins in Wisconsin: That was the day that we got "new to us" name brand jeans, winter wear, socks and store bought briefs.

The biggest fights I remember having with my brother was over the few pairs of matching white socks or the one clean pair of fruit of the loom briefs.

Mom made most of our clothes: She made us coats, jeans , shirts and she even made us boxer shorts: They actually looked pretty good lying folded and flat in the bottom of our Christmas gift box. They were plad or multicolored. They had a nice folded and double stiched fly to keep things covered when not in use, however somehow the pattern had not calculated that boys butts are round instead of flat. When the boxers were worn the nice folded fly that was supposed to act as a cover streached out and, instead, made a nice diamond shaped window.

Thats my truck- By Cody

One year before Christmas, mom showed Wade and me some trucks in the Sears catalog. For some reason, mom kept pointing out a diesel truck to the both of us. I didn’t want a diesel truck, so I told mom that I wanted a 4X4 truck that was jacked up and had removable wheels. Wade decided that he would take the diesel. Well, on Christmas morning, I was surprised when I unwrapped a diesel truck that I didn’t want. Attached to the box of the diesel truck was a note from mom that said, “I felt that the diesel truck better fit your personality, if you still want the other truck, you can trade with Wade.” After reading the note, I looked over in time to see Wade opening up the 4X4 truck. I quickly went over to Wade and asked him to trade with me, but he would not. Later that Christmas morning, I again tried to get Wade to trade with me, but he said that he like the truck that he got better than the diesel truck.

Well, I did eventually get the 4X4. One day Wade and the Smith boys threw rocks at some of the Tonka trucks owned by the Vanderpool boys. Mrs. Vanderpool found out about what had happened and told mom and Sister Smith. As a result, Wade and the Smith boys had to give some of their trucks to the Vanderpool boys. As Wade was walking out the door to give the Vanderpools his 4X4 truck, I stopped him and said, “Wait, give the Vanderpools the diesel truck, and give me the 4X4. Well, Wade took my advice, and I got my truck. The Vanderpool boys liked the diesel because their father was a truck driver.

Paned Glass- By Wade

This is actually second hand from Dyke;

Grandpa Roskelley's house has been a thorn in our families side for 25 years. Some of the various yearly repairs were weekly mowing and the yearly Chinese Elm tree removal, not to mention the new carpet and hard wood floor sanding that has been done.
Dad needed some new paned glass for the rental but now that the kids are gone and sometimes mom is not as available as dad would like her to be he sometimes will take matters into his own hands, or his life into his own hands.
Dad made the trip from our house on grand view hill to Jones Paint and Glass on center street Provo on his bike. He ordered the sizes of pained glass and payed the man. After receiving the glass Dad pulled out a roll of Duct tape and requested the salesman tape the glass to his back so it could be carried easier. Dad, as we all know is legally blind, rode his bike from Center street in Provo to BYU football stadium, a distance of about 15 miles with the glass strapped to his back.

Tree removal -By Wade

Dad told me this story the day after it happened;

Dad was cutting down the tree next to the tree house. Climbing out onto the tree to get to the far reaching branches. Rich Clifford came out and said "Chet you had better be careful, some of those branches look like they will hit that power line".
when telling the story dad said this "I couldn't see the power line so I thought I was OK." apparently forgetting he was legally blind he forged on.
Dad continued to cut down the tree despite the warning. Dad cut down the largest trunk just above the tree house landing. It slid down the trunk hitting him in the head and falling to the ground severing the power line. Dad a little dazed heard a new sound coming from the ground. He climbed down the tree house and then saw the end of the power line on the ground dancing.
He later stated "they charged me 900 bucks to fix that... It would have been cheaper to have the tree cut down professionally."

Get to work! -By Wade

Jumping on the trampoline and working in the garden were 2 weekly activities in the summer. One summer day Cody, Josh and Adam Smith and I were out back jumping on the trampoline when Dad came out and said "didn't I tell you guys to weed the garden?" Cody and I knew play was over and we jumped off the trampoline and headed to the garden to begin our work. Josh and Adam jumped off also, knowing this was their Que to leave, heading towards home. Dad apparently not being able to tell who was who grabbed the Smith boys said "Where do you think your going?" and with a swift kick to both of their back sides they were out in the garden weeding with us. No words were spoken between the Smiths and us but it was only a few minutes before they had worked their way back far enough in the garden to slink over the fence to the "railroad tracks" to run off home.

Free house- by Wade

Dad woke the boys up early one Saturday morning, packed us into the blue station wagon (the one that was 2 cars that had been cut in half and welded together) and hauled us to The Palmer's old house. Dad had been given this house by his friend Alan Palmer. According to Chad and Dyke, dad thought we could go to the house and strip it of all of it's 2X4's and then take it down brick by brick. Then the boys would sit on a street corner and sell the old house off, brick by brick. Dad did tell us it had a swimming pool which instantly increased it's street cred.
We arrived, and the street cred imploded. The house was made of cinder blocks and was not ever fit for human inhabition. I remember walking up the stairs, the walls weren't even sheet rocked. at the top of the stairs was found "Donny and Marie" and "Oak ridge boys" 8 track tapes, which turned out to be the only treasures pulled from the house. Once up stairs we got a full view of the "pool". More like a Cement pond, the Palmer's had run out of utility money and the garbage had not been picked up for what looked like a year. They had piled the last years garbage into the cement pond till it was filled to the brim.
It seems we made more than one trip out to the free house but our attempt at making money off of the cinder block house was soon abandoned.

A Gas Station in Nebraska - By Tia

Reading Wade's tale of being left at home while the family drove off in the camper reminded me of a similar instance I had with Beth and Laura in the middle of Nebraska.

When Chad got married it meant two very important things: we got a new Mini-Van (a Chevy Astro Van that is) and we got to go to Minnesota for his reception. Up to that point we'd only had itchy, cramped station wagons and the van was a roomy, soft seated pillow in comparison. Lucky for us, the back bench folded itself down into a bed. That was extra nice because we didn't stay at hotels when we travelled for days at a time, we'd just pull into a rest stop and sleep in the car. As we ventured back across the never-ending-highway that is Nebraska, Beth, Laura and I were asleep in the back of the van when my Mom pulled over for some gasoline. We woke up just in time to see both of our parents going inside to pay and to use the facillities. Thinking we'd better take this opportunity to use a real toilet rather than the side of the road later on, we all three hopped out of the car too. We went inside and used the bathroom, came out and to our surprise the van was gone! We walked outside to see if they'd pulled it into a parking spot or around back and couldn't find it anywhere! We went inside and asked the attendant if they'd seen a grey mini van pull out a few minutes ago and he was able to confirm our worst fear - WE'D BEEN LEFT!

He assured us that they would be back in no time and that if they were gone for too long that he would call the police and they would track them down. In my overly dramatic ten year old mind I started going through the possibilities of being lost children forever, having to live on the streets and in train cars. As we sat outside on the curb waiting we talked about all sorts of things. Finally, about an hour later we saw in the distance the astro van speeding our way. My parents both got out of the car as soon as they screeched to a stop and ran over to us.

My parents had assumed that we stayed asleep in the car and when they returned they just took off. As they drove and had a conversation my Dad (remember, he's blind so we isn't able to just look in the back seat to see if we're still there) said to my Mom, "Linda, it's awful quiet back there, will you check on the girls?" That's when my mom pulled over and found out that we weren't there at all!!

Cat toss- By Wade

The Smiths across the street had gotten a new kitten. Andy and I were outside playing basketball when their new cat wandered into our yard. I picked up the cat and threw it into our pool that was really an oversize galvanized steel cow watering trough. Andy thought this was good fun so after the cat climbed out of the water he threw the cat back in. Being boys we made a game of this and challenged each other to get further and further away from the pool for the cat toss. I went last because on the last toss the cat didn't quite make it to the pool and hit the side before falling in. The cat crawled out of the pool, only able to use its front legs began to howl, attracting the attention of the little girls and their friends. the girls who were there began to cry. suddenly mom from the kitchen window began to scream at me "you killed it, you killed it" over and over, then coming out of the house to yell at me some more.

I got on my bike and rode down to the pet store where the man at the counter gave me a kitten and a box. I rode home trying to carry the cat, in the box, while riding my bike. The cat would reach out of the box and bite and claw my hand. I took the new cat to Suzie Smith, apologized and offered the new cat as a peace offering. Suzie refused the cat and the apology.

Leavin' town- By Wade

We were going on a trip to palasades lake, every one was getting ready, when the final call came. "Get in the camper". I heard feet scampering out the front door as I was holding 1 green shoe with white stripes down the side,in my hand and shuffling through the pile of crap in my closet looking for the other. It was at that point I saw my He-man on the floor, and thought he would be a nice addition to my camping gear. I found my other shoe in the storage area and ran up stairs and out the front door. There was the red and white Chevy with a camper on the back rolling around the corner off to vacation with out me.
There was no build up to the sobs that came, I lay down on the ground and cried, knowing they were not to be back for several days. I cried myself to sleep lying on the door mat, on the porch. I don't know how long I lay there but mom later told me they got to Nephi before Trina asked "Where's Wade?"

Running away- By Wade

Mom had told me to go clean my room and that had my temper flared. I must have been pretty young because when I decided to run away I had visions of a Norman Rockwell painting, a run away with a handkerchief on the end of a stick. We didn't have any handkerchiefs, that weren't in dads pocket, so I decided a sleeping bag would do, a red one from BYU's outdoors rental department. The sleeping bag had holes burned in it, from many camp outs where the bag was placed to close to the fire. Mom had used black thread to close up the holes in a cross stitch pattern. I went to the storage room to collect my 2 cans of Chile con carne, and I shoved them in the stuff sack.
Cody walked in and said "what ya do'in"
In my most indignant voice I said "I'm running away!"
Cody simply asked "can I come?"
Somewhat startled I agreed to have him come and I grabbed 1 more can of Chile, cause we now had 2 mouths to feed.
I lugged the sleeping bag out to the back yard past the garden to the back side of the fence next to the "railroad tracks". By this time the sleeping bag and 3 cans of Chile had become to heavy so we decided to rest. Cody and I sat down and talked for a while then Cody turned the subject to future food "What are we going to eat once the Chile is gone?"
This was the question that turned my anger. Mom always cooked for us and while the food was not 100% of the time good tasting, it did somehow keep us alive. Giving in we then made our way, retracing our steps, back to the storage room and put away the Chile and sleeping bag and Cody then helped me clean my room by trying to get me to play "A-team", where he let me be B.A. Barachas, Cause I had darker skin, and he was Hanable because he had blond hair.

Marmalade vs. Salsa - By Tia

One morning when I was in High School (I think it was 1997 or 1998) I was cooking some eggs in the kitchen for breakfast. Dad came in and put some bread into the toaster and then walked over the fridge. Because of his vision, when he talks to you he likes to put one hand on your shoulder and his face really close to yours so he can try to see you using his peripheral vision (so close that you can always smell how recent his last teeth brushing was). He walks over to me with a jar of marmalade jam in his hand and putting one hand on my shoulder, face close up and the other hand extended out in front of me he asks, "Is this a jar of marmalade jam?" Thinking it a silly question, I answered in my snooty teenage way, "uh, yeah" to which he replied, "oh, good! Yesterday I put salsa on my toast" in a voice that suggested this was normal.

That afternoon I was talking to my brother Cody and I told him what had happened and this is what he had to say, "Yeah, yesterday I was eating breakfast at the kitchen table and Dad sits down with a plate of toast. I said to him, "Hey Dad, what did you put on your toast?" and he says, "Jam" and I say, "I think that is salsa." Dad then takes a bite and says disgruntled, "You gotta be kidding me, it is salsa.""

New clothes By Chad Roskelley

I remember not having gloves or boots for winter, however Mom had a solution: multiple layers of mismatched socks on our hands and on our feet covered by a plastic bread sack and a rubber band to secure: They worked great for sledding down the hill but getting back up was nearly impossible. And Mom knew we wouldn’t be out long before the bags would tear and we would get all wet.

Our most exciting days were the one’s where we got home from school to find that our, just older cousins in Michigan, had grown out of some clothes and sent us a box of Hand-me-downs. That was the day that we got new, at least new to us, name brand jeans, winter wear, socks and the much coveted store bought briefs.

The biggest fights I remember having with my brother was over the one good pair of matching white socks or the one pair of fruit of the loom briefs.

Mom made most of our clothes: She made us coats, she made jeans, shirts and she even made us boxer shorts. I remember the Christmas that we received our home made, multi colored boxer shorts. They actually looked pretty good lying folded and flat in the bottom of a gift box. The boxers looked great laying flat, they even had a nice folded fly to keep things nicely covered up when not in use, however Mom had somehow neglected the fact that butts are round not flat and when the boxers were worn, the nice folded fly that was supposed to act as a cover stretched out and made a nice diamond shaped window.

"I'd Like to Get a Litter Out of Her" -By Beth

You know what my dad loves? Tradio. Not radio. TRADIO. I couldn’t begin to count the number of times I’ve found my dad laying on the couch with his radio sitting on his chest listening for his favorite program to start. Sometimes dad would even have to get up at 6 a.m. just to listen to his program, broadcast out of Richfield, Utah. Most of the stuff for sale was out of Sanpete, Carbon or Emery county. He wasn’t bothered by the idea that he’d have to travel 1-2 hours to secure his deals. What he cared about was the DEAL. Yes, he’s a man with an eye for a bargain, and as one of his colleagues from over at BYU once said of him, “Your dad would spend $10 just to save $5.” Truer words were never spoken.
Dad has sold and bought innumerable commodities over tradio, but none so great as his dog, Snickers. On one afternoon in 2006 dad listened devotedly to his program and heard of a found dog available for free to a good home. The dog was located in Chester, Utah (fate, right?). They drove two hours to pick the dog up, and gave her a home even though she threw up in the car on the way there. Dad assured us she was a Yorkie and was valuable. But she looked, well, old. Don’t dogs that size only live about 10 years? She looked to be about 9 1/2. “I’d like to get a litter out of her.” He mused to us when we met the old pup. “Wow, Dad." I said, "I think she’s too old to have puppies.”
While Snickers was fully trained – going potty outside and polite and aloof to the grandkids, dad still felt compelled to “train” her. One night as we came over for a visit he excitedly asked us to watch as he showed us her new tricks. Now, remember that he’s blind? It hasn’t ever really stopped him from doing anything he wants to do, which is so much to his credit. (You’re a good example in that, Dad!!) On his knees with a doggie treat in his hands he called Snickers to him and said in a commanding voice, “Snickers! Sit! Sit. No. No. Sit. No, sit!” Then he cocked his head back to us and asked, “Did she do it?”

Hide and seek - By Tia

The year was 1990 and I was only 10 years old. We'd just attended the baby blessing of the 3rd grandchild in the family - Kyle, and were at Trina and Brian's house for a luncheon. All of the kids were shuttled downstairs to play hide-and-seek. Kim Dickerson, Brian's sister, was counting and I followed Laura into the downstairs bathroom - sure that she would love to share her hiding spot with her little sister. As she lay flat in the tub, shoving me out, ("Tia, we can't both fit, go hide somewhere else!") I crammed myself into the cupboard next to the toilet. Unfortunately, the growth spurt I'd just finished meant that the door didn't completely close and I was sure I'd be found out! As Kim went around the basement finding people, I realized that she'd totally missed me! As they called for everyone to come out so they could start a new round I stayed put, certain that I had the best spot and I wasn't giving it up! I could hear that they began a new round so when the door to the bathroom opened and someone walked in I just thought it was another "hider", but then I heard the door being locked.Through the crack of the cupboard door I could see a tall man situating himself on the toilet to "manage the situation". I shut my eyes tight and tried to pull my legs in as close as I could and just waited - mortified at the circumstances I was in. A few minutes into the "situation" Laura and Kim were pounding on the door and the man inside was yelling back, "I'm in here, give me a minute!" Laura knew that I was still in the cupboard. When he was finished, the man washed his hands and opened the door as a gaggle of kids flooded in to open the cupboard. As soon as they opened the door I burst into tears of embarassment. Trina pushed her way through the crowd, ordered everyone out of the bathroom and sat me on her lap and held me while I cried.For the rest of the afternoon I was too embarassed to go upstairs to confront this man - I only wanted to tell him - and everyone- that I hadn't looked and I'd plugged my ears, as if that would have made him feel any better! I think the story is hilarious now - could you imagine?!!!

Tia

A whole candy bar! By Tia

When our sister Trina got married, we thought she'd hit the jack pot! Her new husband not only drove a Trans Am, they would take us to Sounds Easy pizza on Friday nights and get us a large pizza and rent movies for us to watch on their hip wicker furniture. On one of our first of hundreds of sleep overs they stopped at 7-11 on the way home. As Brian got out of the car to run in for a Diet Coke refill he looked at me and my two sisters (Beth and Laura) squished in the barely-there-back-seat of the Trans Am and said, "What treat do you girls want?" Instantly, the three of us put our heads together to discuss what treat we would all consent to share. Brian got a puzzled look on his face and said, "You can all pick your own treat, I'm not just buying one for you to share." What?!! That concept had yet to be introduced to us up to that point in our lives and it took a few moments for it to sink in. We'd never gone to the gas station before and had someone buy us our OWN FULL SIZE CANDY BAR! Laura was the first to chime in, "I want a Snickers," Beth followed, "Me, too!" And me, being unable to deviate from my cool sisters who always told me what to do, finshed off with, "Uh, huh, that's what I want to." So, in he went and out he came with three Snickers bars and a giant Red Cream soda for us. It was a night I'll never forget - a night we fully became aquainted with the idea that we could each have our own treat, even if it was the exact same thing!

P.S. - Later, Trina and Brian also introduced us to Kids Meals at Hardee's and took me to Showbiz Pizza for my 5th Birthday - HEAVEN forany 5 year old!!!

Cadaver lab - By Wade

When I was about 10 years old my dad, ever the bargain/thrift store hunter brought home a stack of plywood. The stack was huge, 20 to 30 pieces deep. The plywood wasn't your normal plywood, it was solid 1" thick plywood, not the 23/32" plywood you by at Lowe's these days. Each piece was heavy and had an oily strip about 5-6 feet long along and 2 feet wide, straight down the middle. My dad gave us strict instructions we were not to touch these boards. This was in the days when every scrap piece of wood we could find was dedicated to the building of club houses in the field behind our house. The new supply of wood gave us a new supplier of club house wood. This relieved Farmer Johnson (the name sounds cliche' but that was his real name) whose wood stack would receive a temporary reprieve from its many liquidators. We did not even attempt to resist, we began to pilfer, slowly, so as to not be detected. We took a panel here and a panel there over several months. My dad was legally blind so he didn't discover his wood had been taken until he went to find the wood for one of his many home improvement projects. My dad came unglued. He, not one to hold his temper back, first gave us a tongue lashing then personally escorted us to the club house and supervised us while we took every nail out of the wood and replaced the wood back in the stack. Dad then ordered us to go shower. I imagine that there was some amount of time we were grounded because that is the way things were. It wasn't until a few years ago while some of my brothers and I were talking that the real reason we got in so much trouble came out. My dad, who worked at BYU, had received a tip from the BYU cadaver lab that they were throwing out all their old cadaver boards. He went and picked up the whole lot. He later, when confronted about the story, admitted to the fact and laughingly gave me this morsel, "Those were nasty boards. It seems to me there was even green slime on most of them." That oily streak down the middle of the board was the oil that had sloughed off of the dead bodies and seeped off onto the wood... Gross!!!

Geese - By Wade

When I was young, around 10 years old, the Clifford’s moved in next door to us. They brought with them a barn yard full of animals. I remember shortly after they moved in their geese adopted our yard as the yard they would protect from intruders. I remember running from the front door and hurdling the fence as the geese would chase me, nipping at the back of my legs and I would repeat the same on the return trip to the house. My dad is legally blind which means to him he can see shadows and objects that are white. One day as my dad started walking down the entry to our house he spotted what he thought was a piece of garbage and bent down to pick it up, when he picked it up he found it was a surprise left by the goose. As I watched from the front window of my house, I could see the rage that was welling up inside of him, body tensed, cheeks flushed when the offending goose began to advance flapping his wings. Dad, being an old farm boy, started chasing the white goose around the yard while trying to catch a glimpse of the goose’s white feathers, with the little vision he had, so he could grab a hold. The goose was backed into the corner of the yard when my dad grabbed him by the neck and swung it around like a lasso, then he let him go at the pinnacle. The goose flew over our fence, distanced the driveway and landed in the neighbor’s yard. The goose popped up and ran away unharmed. Mr. Clifford’s head then popped up from under the car he was working on and said "everything OK Chet?" Dad then said "yeh keep your goose on your own yard."