When I was about 8 years old I wanted to play so bad with my friends that I developed the bad habit of avoiding going to the bathroom for fear of missing what my friends were doing. Many times to the point where I would end up using a ditch for a restroom.
This was the early 80's when short shorts were what you wore.
Ryan Chappell Had just gotten a new bike with a bright yellow seat, and he had brought it over to our house. The Smith boys were over and everyone was taking turns riding the bike. The bike ended on the top of our back hill by a large Crab Apple tree. I wanted my turn so I jumped on the bike and started to ride down the hill. About Mid hill My bowels decided they had waited long enough to empty and so the peristalsis started and would not be stopped. I raise my legs up off the pedals to try to clench my but cheeks together but it was to no avail. The Bowel movement had smooched out of my pants onto the seat by the time I got to the bottom of the hill. Embarrassed I ran into the house. I heard my friends saying as I ran away "he was so scared, it scared the crap out of him." I can't remember which of my brothers or sisters cleaned off the seat for me but I was too dejected to go back out that day.
I have let the lie of "having the crap scared out of me" live until this day. I still feel bad about baptizing Ryan's bike seat in crap, But some of my best lessons have been learned by embarrassment. Lesson learned!
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